Let's be real

As I continue my efforts to becoming the best me I can be I've come across some things that I'm not too proud about. Don't get me wrong because I'm not surprised at all by my findings--TRUE self-evaluation brings this and it isn't the first time these issues have been brought to the forefront but apparently this time I must be more prepared to actually deal with them.

Love.Forgive

I've never really thought of myself as an unloving person; while I can't say the same about forgiveness. You cross me once that's my fault but I would always make sure that you wouldn't get a second chance at that. So in my life I can look back and see where relationships (platonic and otherwise) were lost or even not created due to this type of harshness (yeah it's harsh). I in no way am suggesting that we be apart of unhealthy relationships but I know that all of the relationships that I have turned away from haven't been because of unhealthy reasons. Point blank, I've practiced selective love and forgiveness. Now some may not see a problem with that but I beg to differ:

John 13:34-35
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

1 John 4:11
Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

Matthew 6:14-15
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Of course you know I could go on. Now don't you go to thinking that I'm this totally heartless person because that's not at all the point or who I am. But if you stop and think about it, it really is easier to love the people you like and forgive the people you love.

These are the areas in my life that I need to improve; the challenges I need to overcome--loving and forgiving my "enemies". It is a hard cookie to swallow. I don't have the answers or a plan as to how tackle this, which for me it also hard (I'm used to having Plans A-D and E if I need it). But what I do know is that there are some things in life that you can't handle in and of your own strength: God can only help you to fix what you have first acknowledged. He will stretch you beyond your comfort zone wanting you to lean on Him. And you WILL take the test until you pass it.

So as I cast my cares, my hope is that you will do your own self-evaluation. Don't beat yourself up about what you find but work to make it better.

Someone recently told me and I'll share it with you: The way you treat other people is a direct reflection of your relationship with Christ.

Let us work to share some agape

Dear Chris,

We are being inundated with interviews, videos, etc and it really has become sickening. As many of you know I love music and can usually separate the music from the person but this situation seems to be irritating the heck out of me and here's why?

I know that both of them are young and prayerfully have a long life ahead of them. I also know that they have a career to think about but I often wonder if anyone in either of their camps sat them down and told them to think about the bigger picture. Unfortunately the bigger picture is not their career, being a spokesperson for domestic violence, donating money, being a role model for others, or even moving on (I'll explain this one later). It is so much more important that they gain more knowledge about themselves, their behaviors and learn how to love themselves. All of thee above takes time; time that neither have spent. Instead it appears that the only time they have spent is strategically planning how they were going to repair their celebrity status and/or image. It saddens me to think (and I really hope I'm wrong) that people care more about the dollar than they do about life lessons. Better yet, it saddens me to think that people no longer care about character. I guess that is how it is though when you are surrounded by people who depend on your career to put food in their mouths. But in my opinion, it speaks volume to even their character.

So often during this media frenzy over Chris Brown and Rhianna I have wished that I could have offered Chris some advice. Since I know that will never happen I figured I could write my blog and at least get it off of my chest (sort of speak).

That brings me to this, what I would have said:

It is hard to listen to all of these interviews because you know that part of it is scripted and made with one goal in mind: to salvage your career. So while it may be good to hear that you are sorry and are doing things to make sure that it doesn't happen again, filtering the truth is hard. Only you and God truly know if that is really the case. Nevertheless, the forgiveness of your fans shouldn't be what you are seeking right now and your priorities are mixed up. There are times in life that we are issued a second chance and when we are we have to make sure that we do right by them. It is NEVER enough to just get passed an incident we are required to do more --like making sure we learn from them. This takes time and attention; attention that may cause you to be away from things and people that you may love and care about. Money can come and go but character...character stands the test of time and is always more important than the last. I realize that others may care about you but their caring apparently isn't greater than the need to take care of "their needs". To sum it all up, it can only a testimony after the test has been passed.

Anyhow, that's my take on whole thing and now I can bury it. I wish the both of them love and healing. Even though they've chosen a different way of doing it, for whatever reasons right or wrong, I hope that they don't let the second chance be a failure.

Agape never fails, have you shown it today?

It really is powerful!

This past weekend was Homecoming. The short version is that it was GREAT!! While the weekend was truly about seeing people you hadn't seen in a while it and of course partying, when I sit and reflect the power of relationship, love and upliftment comes to mind. Growing up I never had a group of female friends as it always lead to drama for one reason or another. But one thing that rings truth for me is that college life brought about the importance of true relationships...relationships that stood the test of times. And even though in my everyday life my core isn't around me that love, confidence, and "swag" is. Because of that I now have the honor of sharing that precious gift with others and it is a powerful thing. Why? Because it refutes everything that the world says it true: women, especially black women, can't get along; the crab mentality, the I mentality, etc. Now I'm not naive to believe that those things don't exist in America but it is wonderful to know that we as a people strive to squash them. It really is beautiful! Women uplifting one another, people meeting new people, people unconditionally showing love and concern for others...in the midst of everything that went on this is what touched me the most and what I will remember the most (of course the A-list dress I wore will rank up there too)!

I really hope that others saw and felt this and most importantly will choose to pass it on. Reach back and give it because it really is golden and I learned that everyone doesn't have it or know how to receive it.

Until next time people....GO GREEN!!!

And still I ask, have you shown love today?