Are you prepared for election season? I'm not!

I have to admit, while I am thankful for my right to vote, I never look forward to election season.  Politics are overkill and too many games are played.

So Mrs. Clinton has announced that she is running for President and already people are on the bandwagon.  I'm all for being involved in the process but I'm puzzled. I'm wondering what is she going to bring to the table?  Who will she be running against? Who will be her running mate?  I mean, I have more questions than answers at this point. 

I totally get that there is a strategic map to politics.  THEY get that as well.  But, this "map", in my opinion, has failed us (although THEY don't mind it much at all). It sets the precedents for emotional and ignorant voting.  It is why money and negative ads drive elections; and why we have people in office who don't represent our best interest. 

I am in no way implying that Hillary isn't a good candidate; that's not the point at all.  I'm just asking people to take the time to educate themselves on WHY you believe a candidate is or isn't worthy of your vote.  Don't allow others (namely the media) to make that decision for you.  Do your research!
This election process won't change until we require more; do more.  Besides, you don't just have a right to vote; that right comes with responsibility.

Book Review: Gone Girl

Disclosure: I have never seen the movie

I heard lots of great things about both the book and the movie, so I was extremely excited to begin this book.  But oh did I struggle.  I struggled so much I went to an individual for suggestions on how I could get through it (I didn't want to be a quitter).  It was recommended that I not read the story with the question of who did it in my mind.  I tried that but nah...I went from being utterly confused to sickened. Eventually I just told myself the quicker I finish, the quicker I can start another book.

This book confirmed a few things for me:
1. I do not like suspense books
2. I really do not like suspense books that do that back and forth between characters

I get it though...a great suspense should have twists and turns.  I mean who wants to read a suspense they can quickly figure out.  Yes, I totally get that. But this was extremely slow and just not my cup of tea.

There isn't much you can say about the characters without giving away the plot so all I'll say about Amy and Nick is that they deserve one another.  Maybe this made an execellent movie. I'm not sure if I'll ever know.

Unperfected Love

Have you ever taken some time out to think about where you would be if no one loved you through your mess? The hardest time...you know, when you weren't exactly likable, let alone loveable?

If you have, then you realize how much forgiveness coincides with love.  Love is used so loosely these days.  So much, that I’m confident that most people have no clue what all it entails.  Considering,  Merriam-Webster has so many definitions of loveit is no surprise that we all have our own personal definitions:

1.      Attraction based on sexual desire

2.      Affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interest

3.      A person’s adoration of God

4.      Unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for good of another

Thing is, we often hear about how we wish Big Momma/Mema was still living and how great the family was when she was around.  How you ever sat and pondered why this was?  I have, let me submit my theory:

See Big Momma wasn’t chasing the American dream (all about me and mine).  She wasn’t trying to create a family; while the “family” grew (cause we had those play brothers/sisters/cousins) it was only because everyone she came in contact with she treated with the upmost respect and love.  She repeatedly told us, “We family. We all we got.” (Can’t you hear it?)  But here’s the biggest difference, she was able to see beyond the person to see the need.  See, while she didn’t accept the mess (cause she was definitely going to set you straight) you never felt like an outcast, that she didn't have time, or worse, that you weren't apart of the family.

Yeah, she displayed that 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 love.  I, in no way am saying that you allow any and everything.  That’s not the point.  The point is, compassion goes a long way.  Somebody has to love you beyond your mess!

 

 

Book Review: Success Through Stillness: Meditation Made Simple

I have always been curious about mediation and stumbled upon Success Through Stillness by Russell Simmons.  This book, while not your typical comprehensive approach, is excellent for new learners.  It is written in what I would call conversational tone, is direct and to the point.  It addresses all of the concerns and excuses to mediation.  I was most impressed with Part Two: Chapter 6: God Doesn’t Want Me Mediating because this is a chapter, in my opinion, that left out would have made the book incomplete.  The ability to clear your mind and focus on quietness is just that!  While Mr. Simmons lays out benefits in the book, it would be absurd to discourage someone from practicing something they have personal positive experiences.  I hope more people take the time to at least investigate and form their own opinion; this book is a great starting point and lives up to its name. 

I do plan to start practicing and will blog my experience.  Keep watch.  Hold me accountable. 

Book Review: The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks

Prior to this book, I'd never heard of Henrietta Lacks, let alone HeLa. Rebecca Skloot does an amazing job documenting history.  We are allowed to come along with her as she unravels the story of the women behind HeLa and her family.

In school we learn about African Americans who helped change the world.  After reading this validated book, there is no doubt that Henrietta Lacks needs to be added to this list. Her cells, HeLa, were used to make great medical advancements. This you have to acknowledge despite the conflict you may feel knowing her cells were stolen from her.

Rebecca brings the story full circle by showing us how Henrietta's story could become ours. There still remains a struggle between what is legally ours, as far as the contents once it leaves our body (cells, blood, etc), and science.

Ultimately, this book is a must read.  We all need to know about Henrietta Lacks and there are many who owe gratitude.

Parental School Stress

Lately I have been stressed; stressed brought on by situations, which in my opinion, could have been easily avoided with effective communication.  As unfortunate as it is, we live in a world where people who were hired to represent the community make decisions so far removed from reality that it puzzles me.  That is, until you remember the selfishness of the America, and individual desire to self-promote.  This self-promotion and the fact that we are more likely to complain in silence, has given these types of people exactly what they need---power to do whatever they please never feeling like they owe any explanation.  

A few months ago, I attended a parent meeting held by District 89.  Parents were brought in for a discussion about the reorganization of the district.  I ended up writing a letter (see image at end of blog) to the superintendent afterwards because I was so distraught about the meeting and the lack of communication afterwards.  I mean who has a meeting and does not allow parents to ask questions about changes that will affect their children?

Despite concern, the reorganization happened.  I am still wondering when that proposal actually became THE plan.  How the board and this superintendent believed they could successfully pull off all these changes in such a short time was beyond me.  Yet, I read the letter sent home with my child informing me of the school my children would attend the following school year. I still cannot recall when I actually knew that the first day of school would be pushed a month later.

Last week was registration.  I went to the school only to find out “they”, whomever they are, pushed the time K-5 grade kids would start school (from 8:15am to 8:35am).  For me, that meant I could not register my kids in school because there was no way I could drop them off at this time and make it to work on time.  

It has been obvious from the beginning the individuals who are making these changes do not care about parental buy in; knowing this, I still found it strange that they would not properly notify parents of this decision.   I know they have addresses and phone numbers.  I decided to call the district to find out.  I pointed out that the website included an official board approved 2014-2015 calendar
that did not display a time change (this was STILL the case as I spoke with the individual on the phone; they have since change the time but still indicate it was board approved the same date).  The calendar indicates the calendar was approved May 2014(see image).  I asked what did official mean to them.  I knew that they would not do anything about this, but I just wanted to know why no notification.  I still do not have an answer to this question.

While I know I am only one parent, I am tired of being quiet and I will no longer suffer in silence.  I know the importance of advocating for myself even though at times it seems much easier to do so for others.  I also know I am not the only parent with this story.

Days later, I still do not know where my kids will be attending school.  I also know the board does not care. I keep hearing the individual tell me that it is only a small change; never acknowledging that this “small change” has a major impact on me and my family.   

Here’s the thing, I pay taxes in this community.  I should have the right to decide whether my children attend a neighborhood school and not be forced out due to some last minute decision.  If I am not mistaken, it is the boards’ responsibility to make the best decision for the children.  This can NEVER be achieved without consideration of parents.  Some consideration should be given to ALL parents and kids.  People with the inability to do this should not serve.

Please do not mistake my outcry as a tearing down of the people who volunteer their time. I do not make it my business to “teardown” people who give their time because I recognize the sacrifice in it. I simply want these people to understand the ramifications of those decisions.  Here’s the reality, had this decision been made in May I would have time for rational decisions.  I do not feel as though asking for proper notification is too much to ask, it is their responsibility!

Now I am faced with having to find a private school for my children (which most likely have already started school) , find a before care service that will drop them off at school, or leave them on the school playground unsupervised.  Neither of these are decisions a responsible parent wants to make in a matter of days.

This is only a short summary of what I have had to deal with; it does not include conversations with other parents who also did not know about the time change.  Honestly I would like answers.  I wish I was not in this situation.  I know I will not receive a truthful response (just like the initial letter sent in which the superintendent never responded to me, but my husband who did not write the letter) and I am in this situation.  I also know I will not forget this when voting time comes around.  I will make note of all responsible and those who fail to say a word about how rouge this board has been in their decision making.  In all things you have to find the positive so I am thankful for finding my voice.

Thanks for listening.

In advocacy,

D. McGhee

P.S.
I would have loved to just attached the letter, the blog only allows links to websites; therefore, these are images

Rahm Emanuel: The heart behind the man

Late last night Twitter began to ring about the demolition of Whittier Community Center.  Questions such as why would a building be demolished in the middle of the night and without clearing the books out of the library were raised (for more information about this demolish follow @ctulocal1 on Twitter).  For me, it made me wonder what is Mayor Emanuel's plan? I mean, Chicago has been in the news a lot since he took office and not in a very positive light.  It isn't a secret that this man won an election primarily through an association to President Obama, but his moves don't seem to line up with that association (or does it and we are just failing to see it).  Nevertheless, it lead me to research his background.  I needed to know who is Rahm Emanuel.

The problem with research is it isn't easy to find TRUTH.  The easiest information to find are the political associations; you know the path Emanuel took to become mayor.  While he is known as a democratic, most sites indicate he is highly liberal.  My particular interest, though, were his views on education.  Ontheissue.org shows that while he is not in favor of school vouchers he does believe in more choices within the public school system.  The National Education Association gives the mayor a 100% rating; which indicates pro-public education votes. He voted yes on a bill  to lower student loan interest rates; provide $59 million for a new Predominantly Black Serving Institution program; $25 million for a new graduate Hispanic Serving Institution program; provide for year- round Pell grants; and repeal the Single Lender rule.

This all sounds good and dandy, right?  That is until you consider the huge fight Emanuel is having with the Chicago Teacher's Union and the closing of at least 50 schools (while making plans to expand the stadium and renovate Navy Pier).  My research lead me to this article: Rahm Emanuel losing control of his city

It does not answer all of the questions I have but it does give insight to several things:

• Rahm Emanuel promised a transparency administration which he has not fulfilled.
• While his approval rating is sinking, it isn't something that he is likely concerned about given that Chicago is one-party city
• To win an election takes money, which Emanuel has plenty of

Basically in hindsight, Chicago elected a mayor with nothing to lose.  He has the ability to create his own machine and he is doing just that!  

What does it mean for the people?  It doesn't mean that you stop fighting for what you believe in.   This is definitely something we can learn from.  For starters, stop letting associations rule!  I'm not sure if doing more background on this mayor would have lead people to a different vote but this is definitely a situation that shows associations mean nothing.  Secondly, an evaluation needs to be done to determine if the School Board can make decisions in the best interest of the student when their jobs are appointed by the mayor. Seems like a huge conflict!!!  Thirdly, hold people accountable.  It is our job to remind the politician that they are there to serve the people, which includes you.  Write letters, join agencies/organizations that believe in your cause, but don't just sit and complain.  Nothing ever changed because a person sat on their couch and yelled at the TV.  Lastly, don't just register, GET TO THE POLLS for all elections.  

See, we may never be able to answer the question as to why Rahm Emanuel is making the decisions he is (although Mark Guarino offers a compelling one), but we can be sure about one thing; what is in the heart eventually shows up in your daily life.   

Are you throwing in the towel AGAIN?

When I think about my ancestors one word immediately comes to mind:  Perseverance.  Despite all of their circumstances, they always kept going; kept praying; kept expecting a change.  Life rarely dictated their mood.  I mean, I can literally visualize my grandmother sitting in the window, rubbing her knee, and hymning praises.  Regardless of the circumstances, she always had a song, even if that song had no words.

Somewhere along the way this has been lost even for those who had constant images of this strength.  Weak, faithless, and hopeless are what most of us have become...When did we become a people who lacked perseverance?  

I know we are often called the microwave generation and there is some truth to that.  If it doesn't happen now then hands are thrown up and towels are thrown in.  There's this sense of entitlement; as though working for something is the ultimate sin.  

If this is you, you need a serious reality check! You see, even when our ancestors didn't have a brother, sister, mother, father to pull greatness out of them they eventually figured out that there was something within themselves that helped them endure.  They understood what it meant to encourage themselves.  They understood that life wasn't simply about what you had and didn't have.  AND they knew that throwing in the towel wasn't an option because it was about more than just them!

Just like living by faith isn't an option, neither is perseverance.  Things won't always go your way and you might experience a few pity parties along the way--what matters most is that you don't stay in that pit!  And because God is never trying to teach us to be dependent on anyone other than Him, there won't always be someone there to throw you a rope.  

Find your inner strength.  Make sure if you are throwing in the towel it is only to because you have a new one to carry; not just for you but also for the generation coming behind you.  


"I have observed something else under the sun.  The fastest runner doesn't always win the race and the strongest warrior doesn't always win the battle". (Ecclesiates 9:11 NLT).


 "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint". (Isaiah 40:31)

Career Change: Is it too late?

This is a question I ask myself almost daily: Is it too late?  When you move from job-minded to career-minded, there are certain things that become "must-haves".  And those "must-haves" vary across individuals.

A few years ago, I absolutely loved my job but now not so much.  So what exactly becomes the next move when you've spent so much time and energy in one field? Most would say you ride it out because you can't start over or you've put too much time in but that's just not in the cards for me.  I believe that you can have a career that you love, but it doesn't come without hard work and risks.

I don't have all the answers, here are some suggestions on how to begin this journey:

1.)  Assess:  So you've decided this is what you want to do, well what next?  You need to take time and figure out what you love.  I know you've heard the question what would you do for free?  While it sounds cliche, it really isn't.  It is purely a mechanism to help you find your passion, if you would do it for free you definitely would do it for compensation!

2.) Research:  Once you've figured out what you love, you need to research the qualifications need to enter that field.  Do you need a degree?  Do you need a certification?  Are there ways to "sincerely" network (I add sincerely because I'm totally against doing something solely for the benefit of personal gain but that's a whole different blog)?  If you are starting a business, what do you need?  If it is a position, can you find a job posting?  The more you know the better.  Google is our friend :-)

3.) Action: Get to it! This is where you work your research!  Rework your resume bringing to the forefront the skills you already have that meet the ideal position.  Apply for certifications/school.  Meet people doing what it is you want to do.  Know that anything worth having doesn't come easy.  This means continuing to move forward even when things look bleak.

Career changes will always pose some kind of risk.  You have to decide how big of a risk you are willing to take.  One thing for sure, the probability of receiving a return on nothing, is nothing.  In other words, don't expect a return if you haven't put in the work.

Give Me My Flowers Now!

I don't know if I blame it on getting older or maybe it is just a part of life, but all of a sudden I'm having more conversations about death.  Months ago my husband and I had an honest one about death and funerals.  I raised the question about why certain things were done at funerals (i.e., open caskets, people giving remorseful speeches to the deceased, the repast, etc.).  Where did it all come from?  For some reason, it all seemed gloomy, sad, depressing, and to some extent pointless. This lead me to actually look into some of my questions.

Believe it or not, I didn't find much concrete information, but I did find some useful information.  During slavery, it was against the law for Blacks to give their loved ones a proper funeral/burial.  Slaves were prohibited from any gatherings in fear that they would revolt against their masters.  So the deceased were buried without any kind of "service".  Eventually, there was a rebellion and masters were force to make concessions just to keep the peace.  Services were a happy occasion because slaves saw death as being able to go home to be with Jesus; a relief from the agony that they suffered (see
http://www.woodsvalentinemortuary.com/The_History_of_African-American_Funeral_Service_320351.html for additional information).

That piece of information was insightful.  I mean, it makes perfect sense that they would be happy to see their fellow slaves "free".  But what does it mean for us today?  After really pondering I knew exactly what bothered me more than anything.  It wasn't really the funeral but more so people using it as an opportunity to say things about the deceased that they never shared while they were alive.

Regret can be destroying.  I don't know when it became so hard to vocalize your appreciation for people but you see it more and more.  People seem to give more voice to their "haters" than they do to that individual who helped changed their lives.  I always tell my kids how important it is to do what is right the first time because you may never get a second opportunity.  

In essence, this turned out to be a great conversation to have, although a dreadful topic.  I learned that I view some things differently but it doesn't necessary make what others do wrong.  I recognize that the way a person is buried has more to do with the people left to do it than the actual deceased.  BUT there are some things you can do to make it more peaceful.  Think about what are you living for:  Will it be hard for people to actually celebrate your life?  Will you leave a legacy?  We are all here to fulfill a purpose no matter how off path we may be at this current time.

I was a teen when my aunt passed unexpectedly.  I can still remember pondering whether or not she knew I loved her.  It became a question I constantly asked God.  I wanted nothing more than one chance to tell her how much I loved her.  I was young and didn't know then, like I know now, that (1) actions can show a person that you love them and (2) the benefit of giving people their flowers now helps both them and you.

The reality is we don't know how many opportunities we will have to give share love.  That's just how this thing called life works.  It is also why God tells us to forgive.  I implore that you use the opportunity that you have and not wait until that person can no longer hear you or appreciate the gesture.  Because no matter how you grieve, living life without regret only helps the process.

What does justice look like?

Anger, agony, sadness...The emotions I can put a name to while watching Fruitvale; even knowing how it will end.  As I sat trying to sort out my feelings, trying to make sense of something that doesn't, all I could do is sob. 

What does a parent tell their child?  They are here to serve and protect but not you? Or who cares if you've done anything wrong you just want to get out alive?  Or you have no rights when dealing with them?  Or considering Trayvon, they can stand their ground but you can't?

So many questions, to things that you will never have the answer to.  And at this point does it even really matter?  We wanted a video in Trayvon's case but they had them and still convicted this man to manslaughter and only 2 years in prison.  As if that wasn't a big enough slap in the face, he only serves 11 months.  11 months for a life? And they call that justice?

Movies like this, but wait...it wasn't just a movie.  It reminds us of work we have to do to make sure our children are safe and to make justice be what it should: "a concept of moral rightness based on ethics, rationality, law, natural law, religion, equity or fairness, as well as the administration of the law, taking into account the inalienable and inborn rights of all human beings and citizens, the right of all people and individuals to equal protection before the law of their civil rights, without discrimination on the basis of race, gender, sexual orientation,gender identity, national origin, color, ethnicity, religion, disability, age, or other characteristics, and is further regarded as being inclusive of social justice"

I can remember asking my mom how she does it?  Her answer: you pray and leave it in God's hand.  Now I have one of my own and I have to add to that that faith without works is dead.  ACTION...It is so important that we not only face the truth about the world that we live in (because Oscar and Trayvon are only two names we know) but that we find away to do what we can to make sure we don't have to call another name.  All of those emotions mean nothing if we don't turn it into something positive.  So as I search for and execute my way, I hope you'll do the same.

For those who haven't yet seen Fruitvale, check it out before it leaves the theaters.  

http://www.fruitvalefilm.com/

Can We Really Lean In?

I first heard about the book Lean In on a morning news show.  At that time the book had not even been released but had mega buzz.  The conversations on these shows sparked my interest.  There were tons of questions about what the author, Sheryl Sandberg, hoped to accomplish, why she didn't offer solutions, and even if it was purely an autobiography.

Well here's my take:

I actually enjoyed the book.  Sandberg is correct in that it isn't an autobiography, despite it reading like one.  While statistics are incorporated, the book shares the experiences of Sandberg in addition to other women.  I now understand why the discussions held prior to the books release were all over the place.  Simply put, it will mean different things to different people.  Life experiences will impact how you feel about this book and in some cases whether you will agree with Sandberg's perspective.   In my opinion, the book is not meant to solve all of the issues related to women in leadership (although she does offer some suggestions about improvements); instead, it pushes self-reflection on ways you can begin to "Lean In". 

For me, it brought out the biases I had about women leaders.  If you had of asked me my gender preference for a supervisor, hands down I would have said a man.  In my mind, I've had the worst women supervisors.  At least that's what I let myself believe.  When I actually took time out to write them out, only been 2 or 3 were span of Satan.  

After letting go of that, I began to feel empowered. There was this connection, a feeling that someone understood the challenges one faces being a women in corporate America.  And quite honestly, some of those challenges I never correlated to gender. 

I would be amiss to not acknowledge the things this book helped me learn about myself ; I now sit at the table!  But even if that had not occurred, I would applaud it if for nothing else than it has people talking.

“Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.”

New Beginnings: Week Three

Part of blogging requires a certain kind of honesty that sometimes you would rather keep to yourself.  That's how I feel this week. I'd rather keep this week under the cover but since you all have been apart of this journey I'm going to put it all out there.

This week was my hardest clean-eating week.  I began to have some serious chocolate cravings and since I wasn't going to find "clean" chocolate I ignored those cravings.  At first it seemed awkward because this is week 3.  Why would I be having these craving in week 3?  Well I posed that question and someone asked when was my cycle.  Welp...They were right (why didn't I think of that?).  Normally, the symptoms I experience are migraines, leg and stomach pains.  The pains I had were minimal and I did not experience any migraines.  Unfortunately I felt extremely weak and even had a dizzy spell.  Increasing my food intake helped some but for 2-3 days I had minimal energy.  By day 4, I felt more like myself.

Although it has only been a short time, I do feel like this has become apart of me.  I don't pick up much of anything without reading the label.  I can tell my stomach is smaller and we won't even talk about the amount of weight I've lost in such a small period of time.  Exercise is even become an important part of my life.

When I began, I did not expect to make it this far.  This started as a four week challenge; meaning next week will be the end of the challenge.  However, now I know that this can really be a life change for me.  I won't say I would never indulge in some of the things that I gave up but I don't plan on it ever having that kind of control over me ever again.  I will continue to take it one day at a time.  I'm enjoying the ride.

I truly encourage all of you to look within to see what kind of changes you could do to improve your health.  Nothing is too small as we all have to start somewhere.  Change isn't easy but when you work hard at something the reward is wonderful.

New Beginnings: Week Two

The excitement of the change wore off this week but I am happy to report that clean eating is becoming more of a habit.  I am continuing to experiment with different dishes and vegetables.  What I didn't expect is the change I feel towards food.  I see it more in the light of nourishment; a source of energy.  I don't find myself constantly thinking about food anymore and must admit that I'm shocked. I've heard that this happens, but to have this happen so soon is truly amazing to me. It may be a sign that I was truly ready and prepared for change.

This week brought on a new challenge of reminding myself to eat.  I don't know why it is that I rarely feel hungry; maybe my stomach is shrinking or maybe I don't recognize the new hunger signs.  Either way, I don't think about food as much as I use to.  I utilize MyFitnessPal to keep track of the amount of calories I eat and the majority of days I end up trying to find something to eat just to reach my 1200 calorie mark.  It also doesn't take much for me to have that full feeling.  So I have to continue to be mindful of this because I don't want to "starve" my body.

I have had more sugar cravings this week but no headaches.  It isn't so much that clean eating eliminates sugar because there is raw sugar and honey.  I have just chosen not to use much of either because I do have a concern about exchanging one addiction for another.  The good thing is I've gotten use to drinking plain tea and when I have a craving usually almonds fulfills it.  I don't feel like I've given up sweets either.  I know that if I really want something I just have to get in the baking mood.  The Internet has plenty of "clean" baking recipes.

I am so proud of myself.  I've learned so much but mostly that food does not have control over me as much as I believed.  I am giving this my all and have had to make major changes in my life to accomplish what I have thus far.  Meal planning is a MUST.  It is part of the reason why I don't have to consistently think about food because I already know what I will be eating.  This coupled with exercise has been wonderful for me.  I don't feel sluggish or heavy.  I push myself more because I've conquered something that I really thought I never could.  I'm no longer the sweet queen and am glad to pass that crown on...

New Beginnings: Week One

Day 1 was not as hard as I anticipated it being.  I got up, workout, and had my first "clean" meal.  This is an adventure though because every meal I get a realization of just how much sugar I ate.  So now the task is before me to learn new and creative ways to season food because unbeknownst to me a lot of the seasonings in my cabinet have sugar or some other items I can't pronounce.  Day one was an all around success!

Day 2 was HARD!! The first day I was home all day and this was my first day out.  I only expected to be gone a few hours so I packed a few items like fruits, nuts, water, etc.  I attended a funeral that ended up being longer than I thought it would be.  By now I'm going to the bathroom like crazy AND came the withdrawal headache!  Now I figured I would have withdrawals, but when it didn't happen on day one I somehow assumed I wasn't as addicted to sugar as I had believed.  Honey when I tell you these headaches SUCK that is an understatement!!!!!!!!!!! I see why crackheads go back to the crack!!  All you think about is trying to get rid of the pain and giving into whatever that desire is becomes your first thought.

Although I had snacks, lunch ended up running into dinner.  And what kind of food did they have at the repast? We all know the answer to that one.  Since the repast was close to my house I skipped the fried chicken and fish and went home and ate a salad.  The headache lasted all day but what concerned me more was the fact that I didn't eat 1200 calories.  It wasn't that I wasn't eating but what I ate just didn't cut it especially with lunch running into dinner.  This was a learning day!  It is so important to get your meals in and now I know that if I need some extra calories, grabs some nuts :)

Those two were my hardest days.  The headache, surprisingly, did not linger past day 2.  Yesterday was the first time I really had craving for sugar, but it happened while I was working.  Work is usually where I have the worst eating habits.  I was extremely anxious about returning to work. I know that I am an emotional eater so when I'm working I'm either eating because I'm bored or because I'm stressed.  But I'm glad to report my first two days of work went extremely well.  I changed my focus to making sure I drunk water.

Having support has been wonderful.  In addition to my #SexyShred gang, my husband, mom, and coworker have been in my corner.  My mom has also joined in on clean-eating.  She isn't even exercising but is still losing weight.  I can't wait until she goes to the doctor to find out if this is having a positive effect on her cholesterol.  The kids aren't enjoying it as much but I totally understand why.  I have to be patient with them though.

I did wonder about how costly this would be because items are more expensive.  I've come to realize though that I'm not spending too much more money because I was spending $6-10 a day for breakfast/lunch.  With me bringing lunch I'm saving that money; not to mention the money saved by not eating out.

I can tell my taste buds are also changing.  I wasn't to keen on almonds and now they have become my favorite snack.  And those that know me will be shock to know that I'm loving hummus.  I gave raspberries another try but nah...still don't like those.

All in all, this has been an interesting journey.  In the beginning you feel it is all about the food.  That's because we don't realize how much of a hold it has on us.  Eventually, you come to realize that it is about so much more.  I'm feeling great and can't wait to see what week two has in store!

So was my week one what you expected?  What things should I be concerned about for the second week?  Tune in to see and let me know you were here.

New Beginnings

Man it has been a LONG time since I have blogged but I'm back! In a few days I will begin a new challenge and thought it would be a great idea to document my experience.

 On Thursday I will begin clean eating. What is clean eating? In a nutshell, it is eating real food (no hormones, preservatives, etc). A few days ago I went shopping to prepare and I must say it was eye-opening. Going shopping and having to read labels (even labels that claim to be organic or my favorite all natural) was depressing. Honestly, before this I never really thought about how much of this stuff was in our food. I mean you know that there are a host of processed food but to see items in the smallest things like seasonings... It just makes me wonder how damaged my body really is. Nevertheless, I survived! Found meats, bread, honey, peanut butter, brown rice, and other clean items. I purchased some frozen vegetables but also plan to eat fresh ones which I will purchase as I use them. Tomorrow I will be planning my meals for the week.

Of course with anything new there are fears and I have them. Will I have severe withdrawals? Will I like some of the new meals? Will I miss fried foods and takeout? Will it be extremely hard to plan? And then there is the exercising...Oh My! I do have plenty of support and I plan to utilize every bit of it (especially for meal ideas)!

What I do know is that I'm excited and glad to be trying this. I can only imagine the wonderful things to come and how it will impact my life and my family in the coming months. I plan to update this every week so I hope you come along for the ride and maybe even consider joining in. Wish me well.

Perspective

It has been way too long since I've blogged and a friend so nicely reminded me. I was specifically asked to blog my thoughts about Tyler Perry's movie For Colored Girls. I must preface my thoughts however with the fact that I have never read the book nor have I seen the play. I think this is important to say because this movie based on, from what I understand, the play.

I think we all can agree that this movie touched all kinds of emotions, some of which I wasn't quite expecting, namely the male bashing part. I guess going to the movie knowing that it was about the pain of women and hearing an interview with Tyler stating that he had to add men to the script to make it a story, somewhat prepared me. Despite the criticism from many people (I even heard one young lady state that after seeing the movie she felt like she should go home and slit her wrist), I thought the movie was well put together and the acting was great (from the majority of the cast ESPECIALLY Kimberly Elise). Yes, I cried. But for me, I didn't go home sad, it was quite the opposite. I was strengthened and empowered. I saw how the strength of sisterhood holds us together. I witnessed how important it is for the generation ahead to reach back and grab us even when we fight against it. I saw the power of forgiveness. I was glad to say that in my life I've been surrounded by great women who could speak great things into my life. But most importantly, I was grateful; grateful that the challenges and trails that I have had did not overtake me. They haven't defined me. It reminded me of the poem by the great Dr. Maya Angelo...STILL I RISE.

"Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise."

Still I can see how others could have a different view. Some I believe are losing the fact that this movie is based upon a story that someone else wrote. Some are just tired of the negative view of black men or people. I get that. But for me it isn't what spoke the loudest. It wasn't MY truth. So this movie, as with anything else, brings out perspectives....what's yours?

Let's be real

As I continue my efforts to becoming the best me I can be I've come across some things that I'm not too proud about. Don't get me wrong because I'm not surprised at all by my findings--TRUE self-evaluation brings this and it isn't the first time these issues have been brought to the forefront but apparently this time I must be more prepared to actually deal with them.

Love.Forgive

I've never really thought of myself as an unloving person; while I can't say the same about forgiveness. You cross me once that's my fault but I would always make sure that you wouldn't get a second chance at that. So in my life I can look back and see where relationships (platonic and otherwise) were lost or even not created due to this type of harshness (yeah it's harsh). I in no way am suggesting that we be apart of unhealthy relationships but I know that all of the relationships that I have turned away from haven't been because of unhealthy reasons. Point blank, I've practiced selective love and forgiveness. Now some may not see a problem with that but I beg to differ:

John 13:34-35
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

1 John 4:11
Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

Matthew 6:14-15
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Of course you know I could go on. Now don't you go to thinking that I'm this totally heartless person because that's not at all the point or who I am. But if you stop and think about it, it really is easier to love the people you like and forgive the people you love.

These are the areas in my life that I need to improve; the challenges I need to overcome--loving and forgiving my "enemies". It is a hard cookie to swallow. I don't have the answers or a plan as to how tackle this, which for me it also hard (I'm used to having Plans A-D and E if I need it). But what I do know is that there are some things in life that you can't handle in and of your own strength: God can only help you to fix what you have first acknowledged. He will stretch you beyond your comfort zone wanting you to lean on Him. And you WILL take the test until you pass it.

So as I cast my cares, my hope is that you will do your own self-evaluation. Don't beat yourself up about what you find but work to make it better.

Someone recently told me and I'll share it with you: The way you treat other people is a direct reflection of your relationship with Christ.

Let us work to share some agape

What's your motivation?

With the month of January behind us it seemed reasonable to reflect on those goals we set for the New Year. By now people are starting to inch back into their old routines (for one reason or another). It has been an interesting for me, as I've talked with people about their goals and even as I've assessed my own. Here's what I have come to realize:

(1) We all do things for different reasons. For example, while I REALLY need to lose weight that wasn't my motivation for working out and it wasn't even the goal I set. My goal was to make myself a priority. Working out (of course) just happens to fit in with that.

(2) It is okay to fall off the bandwagon but it is NOT okay to stay there. Life is about being tested so of course anything that you are trying to change is going to be hard; so hard that you may fall off. That isn't the problem. The problem comes if you don't work to get back on track. Personally, I hate failure. Failure to me is one not even trying to succeed. Therefore, be done with that pity party and get back to it.

I've found that once you find what truly motivates you, it will become that much easier to accomplish that goal. For some a bad diagnoses, not fitting into clothes, or the death of a loved one isn't motivating but SOMETHING is and only you can find it.

The best part is if you are still breathing then it is not too late. Here's to you pressing through and not giving up. You can and will succeed but faith without works is dead so GET TO WORK!

Of course don't forget that while your on your way...SHOW SOME LOVE

Reflection

2009 was a challenging year. It was a year the encompassed a lot of deaths and wrong decisions. As I reflect though, I realize that while I did not accomplish growth in the areas that I wanted to, it does not mean that I didn't grow. I learned a lot, even if some of my lesson were in what NOT to do. With all of the challenges that I faced this year there are so many things and people that come to mind when I think of overcoming.

Tina K.: I have never met a person more focus and determined to accomplish her dreams. She was the epitome of focus and drive. While her life was short lived, I don't have a doubt in my mind that she died empty; meaning that she gave all that she had. She touched many lives and changed mines forever.

Mia W.: What a wonderful soul. She was the epitome of true sisterhood and strength. She fought a long battle with cancer. Even when things looked bleak, she found the light. I know that God was with her because one could not have that kind of strength in and of themselves. Mia had a lot of dreams and goals that she did not live to accomplish but I believe that she accomplished the most important ones, that of love, peace, and forgiveness.

I used to wonder why God would allow me to meet these women, connect with them, and then take them away from me, at what still appears to me, untimely. And while I may never know the answer to that I am yet grateful for them and all that they added to my life and all that they continue to add to my life: I honor them.


Kevin M.: I don't believe there is a man on this earth who could love me more. I know that you are God sent. You balance me and show me true faith and love. Even when you make me mad, I know that you love me just as Christ loved the church and as your own body (Eph 5). From you I learn to stand even in the midst of adversity. The Bible says, "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers".
(1 Peter 3:6-8)

I need you to pray because your prayers are not hindered.


With that said, I want 2010 to reflect all that they accomplished so well and all that they remind me of: faith, love, peace, sisterhood, forgiveness, drive and determination. I even the more realize that while I haven't found my purpose career-wise that doesn't mean much. My career is not tied to my person AND it isn't how I would want to be remembered anyway. Life is about way more than that and I'm thankful that 2009 allowed me to learn the difference.


So as you bring in the New Year, my prayer is that you take time and focus on how you will strive to be a better spouse, mother/father, sister/brother, friend. I pray that you will spread love and hope. I pray that the distractions and challenges that will come next year won't prevent you from seeing all the blessings of life.

Learn the lessons. Live life to its fullest and don't forget to show love.